Solar Systems
by evm
Summary: Cook's the sun, JJ thinks tonight, drastic and light torn, violent and bright he dominates JJ's consciousness, like right now. JJ/Cook
1. Brand New Black Hole

"You see I've got this love,  
A hidden planet in the solar system..."

Cook's the sun, JJ thinks tonight, drastic and light torn, violent and bright he dominates JJ's consciousness, like right now, but then Freddie orbits too, on the periphery he shines moon-like, cool and full of phases, hidden and then suddenly luminous. And JJ is constantly in motion, pulled between them like tides, he gets tired of it sometimes wonders why they can't seem to care, but then he knows, what else is there? There has never been anything else, a perfect solar system of three. If not Cook, not Freddie, then what? Who? Effy? No because Effy is just an extension of the way JJ wishes he could be closer to Cook. When he first saw her he knew, knew that she was just exactly what Cook has always thought he wanted, knew that she was the break the change the eclipse, and he sucked himself willingly into her dark because he knew that's where Cook would be too.

But Effy isn't here and JJ can tell Cook is pissed. They're at a show, some band is headlining JJ looked it up on wikipedia founded 2001 local scene shoegazing revival in the same sense of My Bloody Valentine started in 1984. It's one Freddie listens to, made JJ dance to jumping up and down furiously one slow Sunday in the shed, but when JJ said Cook would be at the show, Freddie spit and turned his back. Freddie isn't here, and JJ thinks that might be why Effy isn't either, and he tries to tell Cook, but Cook won't listen, limbs electrified narcotic eyes. Cook is thrilled when the dance floor speeds up when there are so many bodies when there are girls with silly nail polish and no sense short dresses they can't ever be as wild as Cook but they can try. What Cook lacks in grace he makes up for in raw power, the draw of his arms the way he can move his hips even the way he smells dangerous and chaotic, his voice is raw from shouting out lyrics that aren't even the right ones, just whatever he felt like screaming.

JJ is beside him even though he doesn't want to be. Why again he thinks, why, why, why? Well, Cook's the sun of course and he grinds against JJ's leg not because he thought about it just because it is what he wanted to do right then. In that second JJ feels sick as his body is forced to move with Cook's channeling the crowd the mass of bodies that are moving with Cook, he's sea-sick now his own waves colliding with that ocean/crowd. Cook throws his head back and laughs though JJ can't hear of course and then he lets go and JJ dives into the crowd, looking for the best way out.

He finds it, and now he's on the edge, his mind turing over lightening fast so his heart nearly collapses when Naomi snakes out a hand and stops him. Hey, she smiles, Ok, JJ?

Yes, says JJ immediately distractedly, not meaning it.

Emily laughs, right, whatever. They turn back to each other and continue to dance, they shimmy and shake winding down to the floor and then back up again Emily even does the jitter bug at one point and at no time are they synced to the music, only the rhythm their bodies can generate together.

C'mon, Naomi laughs, don't be a twat, JJ, dance! So JJ shuffles his feet, tries to join in their solar system groove, but he can't seem to leave orbit. He's always looking over his shoulder biting his lip trying to ride out the panic, locked on Cook.

Well, but he _should _have been paying attention to the tension, the crowd behind him moving in it's new intensity the fast beat the music bass going crazy each drum hit a brand new ferociousness. The monster behind him is rearing it's head but then Cook is what he's really helplessly focused on, so he doesn't understand what's happening when Emily cries out as she gets a elbow in the eye, and Naomi punches the guy who hit her. Oh, fuck, she says as she pulls Emily away.

What? JJ asks.

It's a mosh now, we should leave.

But-

Cook's in there, right? She raises an eyebrow and half-smiles. JJ nods helplessly.

Go now, says Naomi, and so JJ turns back as Naomi grabs a hold of Emily's hand and runs for the exit.

JJ takes a breath and shuts his eyes tight, he hunches over runs like made praying praying that he won't get noticed even so there are too many people too many limbs arms legs faces he feels each and everyone squirm past his body. His head builds up with static it blocks out the music sounds like the muffled way if you talk at a show you hear the words inside your mouth better than in the air, more shouts than music now all blocked out the sound waves build and build resonate with the rage it has it's very own frequency, he feels it tangible as he struggles through the sea. Takes an arm to his back his legs almost kicked out from under him elbowed knocked and kneed until he reaches Cook. Cook well, he's got his own feral smile, this is what he does he takes it in the face again again again and then he gives as good as he got throws back his head with a primal yell it never reaches JJ's ears but the blood running down Cook's chin is enough the glint of his teeth Cook is screaming because Cook's/JJ's head is screaming. Cook is on fire, but JJ feels like he swallowed a rock sinking to his feet he doesn't want to stand wants to huddle on the ground stonily, stilly wants to be inanimate, but then there's Cook. Cook never knew when to say quits.

JJ grabs his arm, and he's so far gone he doesn't even flinch when Cook swings around his other arm before recognition hits. JJ, he mouths, and JJ shakes his head or maybe it's another start, his body is trembling and juttering light-speed edition as he pulls Cook out, holding Cook around himself like a shield hoping the door comes quick.

Fuck, Cook shouts and then laughs and laughs his voice hoarse it cracks but he keeps laughing anyway soundless his mouth gaping and the blood runs down his face.

JJ keeps weekly dragging him but they only make it to the alley, Cook's intoxicated weight and JJ's fatigue pulling both of them to the dirty pavement. They sit for a moment and JJ pants and shakes. Cook finally stops his terrible laughter, before turning his head to grin at JJ. Wot's up J? He asks too loudly and he doesn't even wait for JJ's answer. Did you see me in there! I was like [gestures big and ends up weekly backhanding JJ in the stomach] and then this bloke he wasn't havin' any of it and he was like, Cook pauses to shout brokenly in demonstration before finishing, Yeah I took care of him. He smiles big and fuzzily, and JJ tries to wipe away the blood on Cook's face with his shirt and his shaking hands.

Yeah, real brilliant.

Cook pauses and then puts a dizzy hand on JJ's cheek, leaning into his lap before repeating, Did you see me?

JJ stops wiping and frowns. Cook, do you have a concussion?

Um, Cook mumbles. Maybe? Wot's it t'you?

Cook! JJ tries to shout but it comes out as a squeak. This is bad! We need to take you to emergency!

Cook pauses, face falling before he begins to smile goofily again. Did Freddie see me?

JJ throws his head back against the brick wall, and wishes he could scream, instead it comes out softly, no energy dulled as it leaves his mouth, Freddie isn't here Cook.

Oh, says Cook, taking too long to process. I hope that bastard knows how much I fuckin' love him.

JJ wants to cry. "That Bastard" isn't here Cook, because _you _can't care about anyone besides yourself, what you want. It's all about you Cook, you all the fucking time, not Freddie or Effy, not...not me. He's surprised to find that there are tears streaming down his cheeks.

JJ, JJ. Cook stokes his face an marvels at the wetness there like it were the strangest thing he'd ever seen. JJ, he smiles sweetly, and then ruins it by chuckling. JJ, I love you.

I don't believe you, JJ chokes, wiping a hand violently across his face, smearing snot all over. I don't believe you, Cook. When Cook doesn't respond, JJ looks down at him, and starts to shake all over again because Cook's smile has changed predatory now the lecherous twist JJ knows when Cook is in the mood.

C-Cook what are you doing? JJ stammers, even as Cook's hand creeps up his thigh towards his crotch. I'll prove it to you JJ.

Shhh, Shhh. Cook mouths against his ear. I'll feel good. He reaches the zipper of JJ's jeans before JJ can even really think about it can't believe this, it's just Cook's head messed up from the sound the fight the drugs he knows this, but FUCK he's hard against Cook's hand.

C-Cook- JJ stutters but he can't finish Cook's hand is inside his boxers warm and firm against his erection he can't keep still, breathing can't keep up with his heart. JJ's hips jut violently forward and Cook laughs against his ear, Jesus, JJ, you are so _fucking_ hard. JJ inhales sharply as Cook begins to stroke throws his head back against the wall, and tries not to make any sounds he'll regret later, but God, it's hard with Cook's large hands and his mouth warm against JJ's ear, he whispers JJ's name over and over again laughs every time JJ reaches a new heighth of ecstasy.

Unh, JJ mummbles.

mmm, Cook!

I can't- fuck!

um- JJ squeezes his eyes shut curls his toes and comes to the sound of Cook panting in his ear. He turns his head and Cook's pupils are blown, luminous and black it's not just the drugs.

Cook?

JJ, Cook whispers and then burries in face in JJ's neck it only takes two quick strokes and Cook is coming in his own jeans, he sighs and then sinks into JJ's lap.

Cook?

Cook?

But he doesn't wake up.


	2. Hidden Planet

"Solar Systems"

Part 2: "Hidden Planet"

He starts suddenly, sits up in his bed the rumpled sheets clean light, the warm indent in the mattress where Cook should be. JJ begins to panic he _knew_ Cook needed to go to emergency, in the same way he _knew _Cook would kill him if JJ took him there. He scrambles frantically, knocking the clock off the table next to his bed until he finds his phone in his pocket when it vibrates and startles him onto the floor. JJ groans, and then flips it open. It's a text from Cook.

_Dwn by rvr._

It's brief like all of Cook's texts, but JJ always gets them. Cook wants JJ to follow him, just like always, just like normal. JJ swallows. Just like nothing happened. JJ knows that Cook will never stop believing that JJ will be there at his back at his side, someone to laugh at/with sing to get so high they start thinking the world's been inside out the whole time. Someone to harass, to tickle into incoherence, to dance with. To fuck.

Fuck, JJ mutters. But he pulls his hoodie on anyway and heads down to the river.

He sees Cook from a distance, lighting up before the waterfront. Cook laughs when he notices JJ, because Cook is always laughing mouth wide and stretched it's desperation not humor. Mornin' J! he calls, and JJ waves and half smiles because he can't stretch his mouth like Cook's. Cook launches into a tirade of his escapades the night before, and all the time believing that JJ is living through him if he even bothers to think about him in the first place.

JJ puts up a hand against the morning light and says Cook's name. Cook won't stop.

Cook, he says louder.

Yeah, and she was-

COOK, JJ yells.

Hmmm? What is it J?

Last night, says JJ, and his voice shakes from the yell. Last night, you weren't, Cook, you never-.

What are you goin' on about J? You feelin' okay? Cook holds a firm hand against JJ's head, but his smile falters and JJ grits his teeth.

Cook. Effy wasn't there last night. Just me.

But Freds and-

Freddie hasn't been around for weeks! JJ yells.

Last night, Cook, I want you to explain about last night!

Don't know wot you're tryn' to get at-

You! shouts JJ. It was just you, me, and your hands down my pants.

JJ, that didn't...all just a bit of fun, you know? I probably would've- just convenient you know? Cook scratches his head and refuses to meet JJ's eyes.

JJ's mouth goes slack it's harder than any punch Cook could've thrown he's winded can't quite his mouth opens closes-

C-cook, he stutters.

He knew it wouldn't be easy just didn't know it would be like this, didn't even know until now what he wanted Cook to say. Last night he was so close closer to Cook than he's ever been, even though he knows this is all Cook knows, the only thing he can do, he couldn't have pushed Cook's hands away. Suddenly his stomach is pulled into reality, he feels sick in the space between them, Cook is reaching for him, and JJ snarls hits his hand away and stuggles struggles anything to keep Cook from pulling him up off the ground into embrace.

JJ, JJ, Cook calls his name over and over, his voice devolving each time. JJ, fuckin' hell, I know JJ, I know what happened, Cook sobs, and grabs JJ's head impulsively, kissing him on the forehead even as his arms tremble. JJ flails and tries to pull away, but Cook won't let him, shoving his forhead into JJ's. Cook begins to rock them back and forth almost roughly and JJ shudders shakes finally stops and closes his eyes his breath shakes against Cook's shirt.

During the election, me and Naomi, we were gettin' it on, Cook says into the top of JJ's head, was gonna make us both feel alright, but Naomi, she couldn't, Emily and- Cook chokes and has to swallow and JJ feels motion in Cook's throat, his cheek shoved against it, Cook's hand on the back of his head.

I still d-don't believe-

Listen to me! Cook whispers hoarsely. I fuck shit, JJ. All I can do. I fuck shit and I fuck shit up. I don't want to fuck you up too. You are the best- best thing I have.

JJ looks up, eyes wide. But you- w-want to-

Yeah. I wanna fuck you fucking senseless, you bastard. He tries to smile, but his eyes are too serious.

JJ doesn't even know what to say anymore, except....... OK.

OK?

Yeah, OK. Tentatively, JJ cranes his face up and kisses Cook on the cheek. It's lopsided and crooked and he still doesn't know what he's doing. But Cook's arms tighten and JJ thinks he can feel Cook humming.


End file.
